normanee ([info]normanee) wrote,
@ 2008-01-03 16:12:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: thoughtful

Our Year
Dec 20th is all I have to say now to explain when I am getting married. ^^ I have most of it planned out, reserved, or both. School starts for us soon, my last semester before graduating in May. I cannot wait to be done with school.

After the wedding we will move to Atlanta so he can finish school and then we can move somewhere and maybe buy a house. The impending marriage of course also means the impending pressure of the babies. ><; Since I am the oldest and William's brother does not have children I fear the pressure will be strong once we tie the knot.

I am not really sure how I feel about having kids. I like them of course, but I do not know how much I really want to "own" one. If we do, we both decided they would be put off until we both are in our careers and can afford to put them into private school and any other activities we might want them to do. I don't however feel a biological need to procreate for some reason of species sustainment or legacy.

I also know if we have kids, later on, I would expect alot, out of myself and them. I am constantly thinking of things I would "do differently" with my siblings so I hope that I am as good as I think I can be as a parent, if I become one.

I know you do not need kids to be happy. I am sure lots of people are or would be without them. The clincher is that I know life changes when you have them, and the only way to ever have that change is to have kids. So, do I want that, do we?


(Post a new comment)


[info]ashleyw
2008-01-03 10:56 pm UTC (link)
Kids? NEVAAAAR!!!1! Watch me as I go on a crazy, foaming at the mouth, childfree rant!

Juuust kidding.

I think it makes sense to wait and be established in your careers first. It's even cooler that you prefer private school for your potential-but-maybe-not kids. Didn't know that.

I think the most annoying part is that family members want to put the pressure on you. I can imagine that it's exciting to become a grandparent/see you two have kids, that's understandable, but it is your lives. The decision, whenever you may make it, will impact you two the most. I think people who poke their own offspring to have kids need to keep that in mind. Plus they need to realize that asking "gonna have teh babies?" constantly is kind of... well, demanding. Sort of rude if you've been clear with them on it before too.

I'm just sooo happy you have a level head about it. You're good with and like kids, but you still realize it's a responsibility like no other. :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]normanee
2008-01-04 02:25 pm UTC (link)
><; to family pressure

Say no to kids for legacies!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]ashleyw
2008-01-03 10:57 pm UTC (link)
Also, your Hachi moods are so cute.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]normanee
2008-01-04 02:23 pm UTC (link)
Of course ^^

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]sneezypb
2008-01-03 11:37 pm UTC (link)
William's brother ought to be sorry for putting all this pressure on you. :)

That said....

1. You should have them so he doesn't have to have them.
2. If you want a lot of kids, then you should start early. If you think one might be enough, then you can wait out for longer. I know four women who are either pregnant or just had a child in the past 6 months. The youngest is 26. The oldest is 28. I've heard of women waiting into their late 30s, but I've also heard complications increase beyond 35.
3. Don't worry about all conditions being perfect. People making less than you two make now somehow raise great kids. Yes, its not ideal. Private schools are okay, but the #1 factor in successful (make it to middle class or above as adults) kids has to do with parent motivation for their kids to succeed. #2 is educational achievement of the mother is completion of undergraduate level.

So, you are set. :)

If you really want William's brother to take this burden off your shoulders, then you ought to spend more time hooking him up. LOL

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]normanee
2008-01-04 03:28 am UTC (link)
Bah ;0 Make your mom some babies!

Prolly 2 kids? If we want them?
We'd be looking at early 30s, late 20s.

I know schools are only part of it, but we both want that for sure. I also think if we wait we may be more able to do all the things with them that we want.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]sneezypb
2008-01-04 08:55 pm UTC (link)
I think the first step towards making babies would be to start dating. ;)

Ooh, the simple replacement philosophy (two go into the marriage, two born as a result). You should have a third that way you can replace me as well!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]elmakr
2008-01-04 08:53 pm UTC (link)
"1. You should have them so he doesn't have to have them."

I think my older brothers are following the same tactic. It's so unfair!! That said, I'd never thought of trying to hook them up as a possible solution, so maybe that's an idea...

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]mangaka_serena
2008-01-04 07:05 am UTC (link)
ganbare..i don't want kids either ....but i might one day
i wish you both the bes tof luck and the brightest of happinesses ^-^

(Reply to this)


[info]leadbox
2008-01-06 09:44 am UTC (link)
I'm not having kids till I'm at least 30. Don't like the lack o' freedom.

(Reply to this)

Create an Account
Forgot your login or password?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…